CHRISTMAS IN ROME
You see quite an abundance of daft displays around Christmas time. Usually these are displays on private homes, or in local stores. The city of Rome, NY, however, has built quite an absurd set of Christmas displays on what I can only assume is their "downtown" area (James Street). These pictures were taken in December 2006, but I assume these displays are put up every year. Only a select few of the dioramas have anything to do with the holiday season, and all of them are quite amusing.
This post is going to be in a different format than what is usually seen on this site. In keeping with the holiday season, I'm going to write my version of the classic, "The Night Before Christmas", using these pictures as a basis. So, please get out your eggnog and popcorn (or whatever you eat with eggnog) and enjoy this new holiday classic.
A Cold Night In Rome
'Twas a cold night in Rome, as I had to shout
When I saw a carousel of reindeer, one had a bulb covering its snout
I saw a very tiny church and to my surprise
Inside were some evil children, with satan in their eyes
Across the road was a castle, all tall and thin
Guarded by armed men, who would have to duck to get in
As I walked down the road I did quite a jig
When I saw the old "Christmas story", The Three Little Pigs
The first pig was not too bright, and that is a fact
For who would build a house of straw wearing a Gilligan hat?
The second pig built his house out of wood then did a dance
In his sailor's hat, shirt and gloves... but without any pants
Pig number three uses bricks, and we all know what for
But he forgot to build steps leading up to his door
The pigs feared the wolf would blow their house down
But he was busy huffing and puffing in the outhouse downtown
Next on the path was a crazy rocking horse
Carrying a ton of lights and an odd looking basket, of course
A mouse ran up the clock as the cold wind blew
What this has to do with Christmas I haven't a clue
Jack Horner ate his plum covered pie on his plum colored floor
While a strange looking dog guarded the door
Goldilocks broke into the house that The Three Bears lived in
Why did the bears build a red house on top of their log cabin?
Goldilocks dances upstairs, wondering how the bears missed her
Downstairs Poppa does the Macarena while Momma yells "Heil Hitler"
Finally I see a Christmas display, with a house full of elves
Who are beating on reindeer, in spite of themselves
The Clauses are trapped in their home, as the door is blocked shut
But Santa still laughs at the tablecloth stolen from Pizza Hut
Now this tour has ended, and we drive out of sight
Have a wonderfully absurd holiday and a very daft night!
2021 UPDATE: I went back to Rome during Christmas time a few years after this article was written, and these displays were nowhere to be found.